


Only You

by nanifairy (ktwrites1530)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Concert, M/M, it should be angst but idk how it became fluff, junhwan, there's a bit of Binhwan here too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktwrites1530/pseuds/nanifairy
Summary: Jinhwan placed his head on Hanbin’s lap, and Junhoe wanted to back off, because the moment felt too private. Hanbin’s hand was on top of Jinhwan’s chest, just directly above his heart, and the older guy rested his hand on top of Hanbin’s. Jinhwan’s eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful—as anyone who was in the middle of the concert performance could get.It was the longest twenty-five seconds of Junhoe's life.





	Only You

**Author's Note:**

> This kicked off when I was looking at a Binhwan gif (@ me on Twitter if you don't know which one) coming from their Kyocera concert (12/23 ,i think?) and Jinhwan had his head on Hanbin's lap during the performance... and then I realized Junhoe was actually there? 
> 
> So yeah, this fic happened because of that hahah

“Junhoe-ah, hey, are you okay?”

Junhoe stopped in his tracks, his hand on the doorknob of his hotel room. He gripped the handle so hard his knuckles turned white, and he exhaled loudly, using his other hand to take out the key that he had just inserted into the hole. His door beeped open and he pushed it, and then used his foot to stop it from closing again.

He composed his face to be devoid of emotions before turning to face his hyung, who was billeted in the room across his. Jinhwan looked tired, too, but brightness was dancing in his eyes—he was in a fairly good mood, even if in the car going to the hotel earlier, he was complaining of homesickness and wanting to go home to Jeju for the holidays. He couldn’t, because their schedules were quite packed with all the year-end shows, ISAC, encore concert, among others.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Junhoe said, his tone flat and emotionless. Jinhwan crossed the short distance between them and approached Junhoe, eyes changing from concerned to inspecting.

“You’re not fine,” Jinhwan declared after a few seconds. He paused, thoughtful, and then after a couple of beats, said, “Are _we_ okay?”

“We are.”

Junhoe cussed internally, because he didn’t even sound convincing even to himself. He saw Jinhwan’s eyes narrow—his hyung knows, he almost always knows when Junhoe was lying—and he almost drew back when he saw Jinhwan reaching out to touch him.

But Jinhwan saw that, too.

“Okay…” Jinhwan said, dragging the word to make it sound longer. “Talk to me, Junhoe. What’s wrong?”

Junhoe shook his head, brushing his hyung’s hand off his arm. He entered his room fully, using the door as a barrier between him and Jinhwan. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired. Please let it go, hyung,” he said with a heavy sigh. He wanted to take a hot shower and drown his misery in the bottle of whiskey waiting for him inside his room.

He wanted to do all of that _alone_ , without anyone bothering him or without anyone asking explanations as to why he was in this foul mood.

“Junhoe-ah, we don’t go to bed angry or with any unresolved things between us, remember?” Jinhwan said, sounding hurt, but Junhoe didn’t care because _his_ feelings were also hurt.

“Well, tonight we do.”

Before Jinhwan could say another word, Junhoe had closed the door.

******

 _Junhoe was the first verse for_ Only You, _and he had just finished his part. He would usually turn to his right and head to the back, but he slowed down and contemplated on that when he saw the scene that was unfolding before him._

_Can he run to stage left instead?_

_But that wasn’t part of the stage direction, and he normally wasn’t one to screw up the choreography._

_So he headed towards back of stage right, but he felt like an outcast. He stood first, not really knowing what to do._

_Because a few feet away from him, in the two other seats, were Jinhwan and Hanbin, settling into the lounge chairs. Jinhwan placed his head on Hanbin’s lap, and Junhoe wanted to back off, because the moment felt too private. Hanbin’s hand was on top of Jinhwan’s chest, just directly above his heart, and the older guy rested his hand on top of Hanbin’s. Jinhwan’s eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful—as anyone who was in the middle of the concert performance could get._

_He looked awkward, so he took a seat on the donut floater on stage, but every single cell of his being wanted to run away, or cry, or punch something—in that specific order._

_Hanbin leaned down, whispering something to Jinhwan, which he was pretty sure their hyung couldn’t hear because he had his in-ear monitors on. But the eldest’s eyes snapped open, sitting up and getting ready as Bobby’s rap was almost finishing and they needed to go back to the next sequence._

_And he stood up along with them, heading to his position, but his mind was flying elsewhere._

_That was the longest twenty-fix seconds of his life._

******

“Junhoe-ah.”

Junhoe was still at the door, leaning his forehead against it, cussing internally. Angry and pained tears welled up in his eyes, and he knew these were the tears he had tried to hold back earlier.

“What did I do wrong? Please tell me, so I can fix it,” Jinhwan said, his voice slightly muffled on the other side of the door. He knocked softly on the door three times, and Junhoe stepped back, letting the tears fall.

A sob escaped his lips, and he covered his mouth, crying into his palm.

“Junhoe-ah… I can hear you crying. _Please_. Let me in. Let me fix this.”

There was a scratch on the door, as if Jinhwan was moving on the other side. He knew his hyung can get his room key from their manager, but Jinhwan was above that—he respected Junhoe’s personal space because he also wanted the same.

“I won’t leave until you talk to me.”

Startled, Junhoe peeked through the peephole, and he couldn’t spot Jinhwan outside, but he knew the older guy was still there. _Was he sitting?_ Junhoe thought.

Junhoe waited, until his tears subsided and his sobs passed, but he didn’t hear Jinhwan move on the other side of the door. He wiped his tears and snot on the sleeve of his shirt, and then took a deep breath. He didn’t know how long it took, but he finally opened the door, surprising Jinhwan, who was leaning against the door jamb.

Junhoe offered a hand and Jinhwan took it, standing and entering Junhoe’s room.

“It was Hanbin, wasn’t it? That moment with Hanbin,” Jinhwan said, and Junhoe didn’t speak. He took a seat on the bed and Jinhwan knelt before him, taking his hand into his. He stared at their hands instead of his hyung’s face, thinking it was the better alternative to eye contact.

He regretted that decision when Jinhwan started to rub that fleshy spot between his thumb and forefinger, almost absently and out of habit, because he did it each time he would hold Junhoe’s hand.

“I can’t compete with him. You two have so much history, and I… I’m never going to be who he is to you.”

“God, Junhoe,” Jinhwan said, exasperated. “You’re never going to be who Hanbin is to me because you mean so much more.” He shifted, lifting Junhoe’s chin so that their eyes were levelled with each other. “How many times do I have to tell you this?” Jinhwan said, fixing Junhoe an intense stare. He said the next few words slowly, as if giving Junhoe time to absorb each and every single word.

“ _I’m with you. I’m yours. I want to be with you and only you alone._ ”

Junhoe closed his eyes. His heart was fluttering at those words, but his brain was going the other way, clinging onto every single shred of rationality. “You say this, but you do another thing,” he said, his voice coming out rough and hoarse because of his crying. “You go to Hanbin, you go sleep at Bobby hyung’s room, and—”

“They’re my best friends, Junhoe.”

Junhoe sighed heavily, opening his eyes. “Sometimes it feels like they weren’t _just_ your best friends.”  

“Junhoe-ah…” Jinhwan started, but his voice trailed, losing the words to continue.

“If it’s only me, then make that constant and consistent choice. I’m not saying you stop being friends with them, because I know how much they mean to you. But choose _me_. Make me the number one on that list,” Junhoe said. He was amazed how firm his tone sounded, so he continued. “Because I love you, hyung, and I want to be secure with the knowledge that you also love me back, but sometimes my jealousy just…” Junhoe let out a long exhale. “Sometimes it just kills.”

“I’m sorry,” Jinhwan said, standing up and wrapping Junhoe in a hug. They were new at this, at being in a relationship, and he hated that he had hurt Junhoe this way. “I… I just fall back to my usual ways with Hanbin and Bobby, and I don’t even realize…” He pressed his lips on the top of Junhoe’s head, and then to his temple.

“I’ll fix this, okay?” Jinhwan said, pulling back, and Junhoe saw the honesty and sincerity in his eyes.

“Hyung, I don’t want you to avoid them, okay? Just to be clear. I don’t want you to cut off your best friends—”

Jinhwan gave him a small smile. “Oh love, I didn’t even think of that for a second! I know you. I know you wouldn’t make an unreasonable request like that.”

A blush colored Junhoe’s cheeks, even if he was relieved that Jinhwan thought that way. “Hyung, please don’t be awkward with them,” he said, telling Jinhwan his worry.

Jinhwan took a seat next to Junhoe, placing a finger on Junhoe’s chin, lifting it up. “I won’t,” Jinhwan promised in a whisper. He gazed at Junhoe, a slow, contented smile spreading on his lips. “I love you, and I won’t get tired of saying this every day. I love you, Koo Junhoe.”

“I love you, too,” Junhoe whispered back. Jinhwan closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against Junhoe’s, the kiss slow and warm. Junhoe deepened it, placing his hand at the back of Jinhwan’s nape, and he felt his hyung smile under his lips. Jinhwan draped his arms over Junhoe’s shoulders, pulling him closer, wanting to more of him and all of him—

But then Junhoe pulled away, making Jinhwan pout.

Junhoe pressed a quick kiss on Jinhwan’s lips again, grinning mischievously. “I’ve something for you.”

“Jesus, just kiss me—whatever it is can wait,” Jinhwan whined, but Junhoe was already standing, opening his almost empty suitcase and pulling out a small, rectangular box.

Jinhwan’s eyes widened when he saw the box, and when he recovered, he gave Junhoe a soft smile. “It’s a yes,” he said, before Junhoe could even show what’s inside the box or even ask a question.

“I’m not going to ask you anything!” Junhoe said, smiling so wide that he felt his cheeks would burst. He chuckled, popping the box open, showing two identical rings inside. Two thin silver bands were inside, and they were lined with amethyst and aquamarine stones—their birthstones. He popped one of the rings, presenting it to Jinhwan. (No kneeling was involved, thankfully.)

Jinhwan took it, inspecting the ring. He had to adjust the ring to the light and he saw that inside, there was an inscription: _KJH_ and a date, and he placed his hand over his chest when he realized what the date meant: the day they became official, the same day they stopped being cowards and finally told each other how they really felt about and towards each other.

Jinhwan pulled the other ring from the box, taking Junhoe’s left hand. He slid it onto Junhoe’s ring finger, and the ring was a perfect fit, which wasn’t surprising since it was Junhoe who had the rings made. Wordlessly, Junhoe took Jinhwan’s left hand and did the same, and the ring fit, sliding and resting there on his ring finger as if it was its home.

“How did you get my ring size?” Jinhwan asked.

“Stole one of the rings in your room,” Junhoe said with a giggle and a shrug.

Jinhwan held his hand open in front of him, admiring the ring, and then said, “It’s beautiful, Junhoe. Thank you.”

“Merry Christmas, my love,” Junhoe said, placing an arm over Jinhwan’s shoulder.

Jinhwan leaned his head on Junhoe’s chest, sighing contentedly. “Merry Christmas, Junhoe-ah.”

\--THE END--

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter: @kecachata


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